Omar Apollo

Bruce: Everyone got me really paranoid about crossing the border into the States, because of the orange tyrant, you know. I was trying to scrub my phone, like, deleting Grindr and Scruff.
Omar: They’re checking all that shit? That’s insane!
It’s unlikely that they’d check a white man of a certain age, but still, really strange what’s happening here. Anyways, so your parents are immigrants, right?
Yeah, from Guadalajara in Mexico.
How old were they when they moved to the States?
My dad, he was 24 when he came to the US, then he went back to get my mom some years later. She was 29 when she came over, I believe. My mom was a friend of his family, she cut their hair.
So working-class?
Yeah, growing up, both my parents worked at my school. My mom was a lunch lady. My dad drove the food truck. After that shift ended, he went to the casino where he worked as a cook. So, like, 16-hour days.
So many immigrants come here and get jobs, work like crazy, pay their taxes, but now those are the people that are getting kicked out. It must be crazy for you to see what’s going on – how do you feel about this administration?
It’s so fucked-up. I still have a lot of friends that are dealing with it. My parents are citizens now. It took them 10 years. They had to go to school, do all these tests. I remember helping them with learning the names of presidents when I was a little kid. I was translating all the time for my mom and dad. Like at restaurants, grocery stores.
How did you pick up English?
Spanish is my first language. When I went to preschool, I started learning English. They had special classes.
But your parents are lucky, because if they came here today, they could be…
Deported. Yeah. A lot of my relatives didn’t try to get citizenship because it’s become too hard. They didn’t get deported, but left on their own.
Recently?
Yeah, my tía did. Actually, she just passed away in Mexico. Her kids are still in the States and I’m here for them. She was like a second mom to me. She took care of me when I needed her.
Your mother’s sister?
My dad’s. She’d give me food when I didn’t have any. I’d be working 40 hours a week and I only could afford to pay my rent, which was like $350, and that’s all I’d make because I earned only, like, seven bucks an hour. I’d be hungry at night and go to her house. She made me tortillas with frijoles. She never never never judged me either. My whole family’s very religious, traditionally, you know – I’m not at all – but she never judged.
Was it the type of thing where they knew you were queer from a young age?
No no. Nobody knew.
Did you know?
Not at all. I only figured it out when I was 15 and really knew when I was 17. But I didn’t come out on my own terms until I was 19.
What tipped you off? (laughs)
My friend started showing me porn.
Do you remember what kind?
Just, like, a girl and guy?
Oh, straight porn.
Yeah, straight porn. And then I realized that every time I looked for a video, I was looking at the guy.
That’s a good indication. (both laugh)
But I’d also get HUGE crushes on friends and stuff.
That’s normal. Straight guys do too.
No, it was different – I’d cry about it.
Did anyone ever reject you because they thought you were getting too close in the wrong way?
When I got older, yeah.

That happened to me in high school. My best friend, when we got to high school, one day he totally just wouldn’t talk to me anymore, like, complete ghost.
Damn. That’s the worst. How long did it take you to get over that?
Probably not till my twenties. I couldn’t remotely come out when I was in high school. I repressed everything until I went to university. Like, I didn’t even lose my virginity till I was 22.
That’s when I lost my virginity too! (laughs)
But you came out when you were 19? Why the gap?
I was so scared. I grew up super religious. I don’t know if it’s, like, religious trauma or what. Every time I looked at a guy, I’d get so scared and nervous.
You didn’t think it was a sin and you’d go to hell?
YEAH! Of course I did. I grew up extremely religious. I was an altar boy and everything. I was supposed to become a priest.
So you were feeling it.
Oh yeah, pray the gay away! (both laugh)
What snapped you out of that?
Actually, I fell in love with this guy at school.
Straight?
Yeah, but we were young. We’d sleep together and hold hands and stuff.
Awww.
Oh yeah, so cute. But that was as far as it got.
Holding hands is really intimate, though.
He loved holding hands and cuddling.
Cuddling is even more intimate than sex sometimes.
Yeah, it is. I love intimacy. That’s better to me.
Buggering someone can actually be a very aggressive thing.
Right. I was in this relationship and this one time we were making eye contact for like two hours and, like, boom! Oxytocin. It was insane. Whoa!
Was it like Marina Abramović?
No no, it was closer. I was sitting on his left, like, real close.
You got lost in each other’s eyes?
Yeah, but it was weird, because there was a chemical reaction happening. You feel high.
Were the girls interested in you growing up?
I had a few girlfriends, but I’ve never never had sex with a girl.
Me neither. But you love women?
I LOVE women. Holding them, having them sit on my lap. Stuff like that.
There are so many misogynistic gay men. And that’s where the problems begin… Well, yeah, so you worked at McDonald’s?
For a year and a half.
What was the worst thing that ever happened when you were working?
Someone threw a McFlurry at me.
Were you in the drive-thru?
Yeah. (laughs) That job was actually so fun. I’d make smoothies and invent new McFlurries. And my homies were tossing burgers and shit.
Oh, nice.
It was all kids my age, about 16, yeah, so it was fun.
And you have three siblings, right?
Yeah, I have two brothers and a sister. I’m the youngest.
Older sister, right?
Yeah, she’s 40.
Oh! Are you close?
We’re really close. She’s got nine kids.
So you’re, like, Uncle Omar.
Yeah, the cool uncle.
Have you thought about having kids?
I’m open to it, but I don’t think about it. My sister and brother got kids.
They can do all the work for you.
I don’t know if I need to, like, curse somebody with the burden of life.
(laughs) I know what you mean.
I guess the way the world is now, it’s a bit much to be responsible for putting somebody into the current situation.
Right. The music started already with your parents? Like, instilling music in you?
Um, no. My parents didn’t really do that.
What about in church?
Yeah, I was in the choir, but I played the guitar. I didn’t sing. When I was 11, I just picked up a guitar. My tío taught me how to play three chords. I’d practice them. And then at church, there was this guy, Jorge, who also played the guitar. He was 25, I was 12. He was so hot. I had the biggest crush on him.
Did you ever have any sexual fantasies about him?
Definitely. But when I developed a really big crush on him, I didn’t know until later. I looked back and was like, ‘Oh my god. I was obsessed with that guy!’
It was more like hero worship?
I don’t know, but he was hot. He was so hot. Super hot.
Yeah.
So basically, this is the story – I wanted him to really, like, appreciate me. I told myself, ‘If I get really good at guitar then he will, you know, really SEE me.’
Motivation.
I got so good so quickly. In like two weeks, I learned so many other chords. Practicing all day all day all day. I’d sleep with my guitar. Then I got better than him.
Was he impressed?
Super impressed. But then one day there was a fish fry at the church and he brought his girlfriend. When I saw him with a woman, I ran away crying.
Awww.
When I look back, I’m like, ‘Oh my god. That was so gay!’
It’s cool that he motivated you.
I got so good and kept playing guitar.

Do you think there’s something innate in you that’s musical?
I’ve always had the interest in music. I couldn’t sing for a while. I had to go on YouTube and type in “learn how to sing” when I was 17 or something like that.
How did YouTube teach you to sing?
Warm-ups mostly. I found my tone and all that stuff.
When did you find your voice?
At 17, 18. When I started recording. I saved up for a microphone with quarters, borrowing money from my friends and family, like, five bucks, ten dollars, six bucks, three. Once I got the microphone, I could finally hear myself and loved the sound of my voice.
Cool. So let’s skip ahead. You started posting your own videos on YouTube – I think I read that somewhere – which is how you first got noticed, right?
Yeah, I’d just make videos with my friends and my brother. I’d make music, do a set, record it and upload. Somewhere along the way, it just started working.
Do you remember your first rush of getting a lot of streams?
I do, yeah. I started putting stuff on SoundCloud, which is free, and my friend was, like, ‘You should upload it on Spotify.’ But we were all broke and couldn’t afford the ten dollar subscription.
What job did you have then?
I was working at Guitar Center.
Oh, right.
A friend ended up helping me out. I got a song up on Spotify. Overnight, it got 50,000 plays. I was just, like, ‘Oh my god.’
Wow.
The next day, I uploaded another song. And again 50k. It just snowballed from there and I made it out of Indiana. (laughs)
Where did you go?
I moved to LA.
Oh, LA, big mistake. (both laugh)
No, I love LA.
I love LA too, but I’m also very aware of what’s wrong with LA. It’s really hard to…
Find community. Everyone just kind of stays inside, you know?
I was spending a lot of time in LA in the 90s. In Silver Lake and Echo Park, there were more bars and live music venues. Silver Lake used to be more like San Francisco, like, an enclave of bohemianism.
I didn’t catch that. I got there when it was gentrified. When I first moved to LA, I was in Historic Filipinotown, basically Downtown. That was nuts. I was there for two years.
Did you live by yourself?
No, when I moved from Indiana, I told all my friends to come to LA and stay with me. That’s what they did. They still live here.
How many in the house?
It was three at first, then at the maximum grew to seven.
Did you start out by playing at live venues?
Yeah, I ended up doing really well.
Where would you play?
The Roxy, Troubadour, the Greek Theatre eventually. And then Hollywood Bowl last year.
Wow! What was that like?
Insane. That was my favorite show.
That must have been, like, a moment.
It was insane. You can’t even see all the people in the audience, it goes so far back.
Is that your biggest show that you’ve done?
Headline? Yeah yeah yeah. But festivals and shit, there’s 50,000 people or more.
You’ve done stadiums?
I opened for Billie Eilish in Mexico. It was huge. Big ass places. And I toured with SZA.
How many cities did you do?
It was 19 or 21 or something like that. But I’ve done 40 before. Last year, I played on five continents.
Whoa.
That was insane on my body.

So, tell me about Luca Guadagnino. Meeting Luca I understand that he DM’d you or something. (laughs)
Somebody DM’d me on Luca’s behalf. They said, ‘We’re going to cast you in this movie.’ And I was like, ‘Tell him I say yes.’ Then a few days later we were FaceTiming.
Nice. What was the experience of filming ‘Queer’ like?
It was crazy. I’ve never been on a movie set before. They make it seem so glamorous, but it’s just like any other job.
How did you find Luca’s process? I’m curious. This is a sidebar, but he called my last movie, ‘The Visitor’, one of his favorite films of 2025.
I saw on Instagram that you didn’t like ‘Call Me By Your Name’. (laughs)
Wait! Cut!
I almost sent a screenshot to him.
Look, I wasn’t crazy about ‘Call Me By Your Name’. But the thing is, after he wrote this nice thing about my film, I went to see ‘Challengers’ and I LOVED it!
(both laugh) Bruce, you don’t have to… You’re so funny.
You know, I was gonna contact Luca and try to get him to produce one of my movies. But now, if he reads this…
I’m pretty sure he definitely, like, appreciates you. Everyone admires you. You’re the blueprint. You’re a legend.
Well, thank you. Here’s another confession before we get back to YOU. I have this great script about a queer drug cartel inspired by this Mexican guy I had a long-distance relationship with during the pandemic. It would be so up Luca’s alley…and yours too.
I want to read it. Send it over!
Obviously, I really do think Luca’s an amazing artist.
I love him. He’s very quick quick quick quick. When we did the scene where Daniel grabs my ass…
But didn’t you have an intimacy coordinator?
Yeah, but we really didn’t need them. No one was uncomfortable – we only had to do one take. Luca said our performance was perfect.
So getting back to your parents – did they see ‘Queer’? I hate myself for asking this horrible question, but what did they think?
My dad knows I made a movie. Neither of them watched it.
And they don’t want to.
They know why they can’t and they’re fine with it. They’re a different generation. What year were you born?
(laughs) Like…you know…the 60s.
My dad was born in ’56 and my mom was ’62.
I was ’64.
So you’re younger. But yeah, they’re supportive, regardless.
When you came out – because they were very religious – was that a drama?
Oh, it was terrible. The worst drama. The MOST dramatic.
What happened?
I moved into an attic. It was so bad. With asbestos and black mold.
And did you have a formal sit-down? ‘I have something to tell you.’
No, my mom came into my room. She was like, ‘I heard you support gay marriage.’
How would she know that? (laughs)
Facebook. My brother was mad at me and changed my profile. So it said I was gay or something.
Was it, like, a survey or something?
No, on your profile, it’ll say, like, ‘I support gay marriage’ or whatever, or your sexuality. It didn’t go down well and I’d prefer if we didn’t get into the details – I don’t want to make them look bad. Now it’s a lot better, but at that time, it was really really really really difficult.
Kind of like a disowning?
Yeah, I felt really abandoned. After coming out I immediately moved into that attic, because it was too hard to be at the house. There were so many confusing conversations. And I remember feeling normal, like, ‘This is actually an exciting time for me!’ (laughs)
It is!
But the people I love most, all their love felt conditional. And I had to just accept that. Now I understand that I should have compassion. My mom loves me. I know she does. She’s just super religious and that’s her comfort. So it’s okay.
How did your friends react?
The community I had were weirded out by me being gay and a lot of friendships ended. That whole thing.
Wow.
I mean, it’s the Midwest.

And that’s why you got out of town?
Yeah. As soon as I made enough money to move to LA.
So this is a weird question, I guess, but did your parents come around when they saw how successful you’ve become?
Well, yeah! For real. Look, all of their friends were like, ‘Omar is doing so good! He’s at the Grammys, he’s at the Oscars.’ They were hearing about all these great things and people are accepting me for who I am. And I think THAT really helped.
They also must see how comfortable you are in your own skin, and there’s so much love that comes out of your work. It’s very palpable. I think they’d have to see that being gay isn’t this horrible thing.
They came around a little bit before the success. Like, shoot, my mom is really trying. She really did try. And my sister too. They’re, like, ‘Oh, Omar is a PERSON who’s actually having feelings for guys and not in a sinful way.’ Like, whatever parameters they’ve built around their lives, they’re just beliefs in the end and their belief system is starting to change.
Did they vote for Trump?
No no no. Absolutely not.
Phew.
They’re not those kinds of Catholics.
Because a lot of Mexican immigrants and Cubans voted for Trump.
Totally. I went to church with my mom and the priest was telling all these Mexican immigrants to vote for Trump. And I’m just like, ‘Are you serious?’
Wow!
I confronted him afterwards. I was so angry. He was really saying they’re sinning if they don’t vote for Trump. That rubbed me the wrong way.
Do you have any political content in your work?
I think what I am is inherently political. I’m always advocating for freeing occupied people everywhere. I recently did a show with Mustafa the Poet, Artists for Aid, which was a benefit for Gaza and Sudan. We raised a lot of money and made sure it went straight to helping the people. Because that’s also a problem.
When I was crossing the border, I told you I was paranoid. One of the things I was thinking I needed to scrub from my Instagram was a photo of Netanyahu covered in blood.
If you’re afraid, you could just delete the app and then they can’t look at it.
Even if you delete the app, it’s still online. Anyways, um, so we’re almost done. What’s next?
This is what I have on my list. (hands list over)
It says “Do nothing”. Great. So you’re just taking kind of a breather?
Definitely. Of course, I have a bunch of music already made.
You have it recorded?
Yeah, tons, hundreds of songs. I love making music. I just do it, to do it without thinking.
Out of that you’ll shape an album?
No no.
But you’re gonna do another album?
Yeah, of course. But the past three years have been too much. I grew up with this urgency, the survival instinct, that lasted too long. But now I don’t need to just survive and the sense of urgency has finally died down. I’m able to think and have way more integrity and intention with what I’m doing. I can make music all day, but I want it to mean something. I want it to have depth. I want it to live longer than me. And that takes time. I can’t just be touring – like, what am I gonna write about?

So you’re looking for love?
Love, of course, always. I always got love to give.
How long have you been single?
I’ve had lovers, but not a relationship. I haven’t had, like, a full love situation, no boyfriend-boyfriend thing, since 2022.
There’s this one relationship you had that really fucked you up, right?
Yeah.
Was he a musician?
Girl, don’t be asking those questions, they be narrowing it down and shit.
Got it. When I broke up with my first serious boyfriend, I was so heartbroken and devastated that it felt like I was gonna die.
That was me. I made a whole sad-ass album with no resolve about that situation. When you perform these songs over and over again, they get locked into your body and then you’re just living in sadness. I don’t want to live like that anymore.
Did you try to get back together?
Oh my god. It went on for two years. I begged and begged and begged. No shame whatsoever. And I still don’t have shame. At all. Like, you know what? That’s how I was feeling!
After my breakup, it was the first time I ever went to therapy. Did you start therapy?
Yeah, I went through some real shit.
Do you believe in therapy?
Yeah, I have two therapists. I talk twice a week.
Good for you. How is it performing songs from that album now?
It’s getting better. But, like, for example, when I was co-headlining at Madison Square Garden, a minute before my set I was crying on the floor of the bathroom. This went on and on on on on. I had to do shows shows shows, make money here, make money there. It fucked me up.
Do you ever cry while you’re performing?
No, not yet. Well, almost, once. I wanted to, but it just didn’t happen.
You’ve made it through the worst.
Now, I’m finally starting to come back to life.