Ashland Mines

Ashland: I’m on my way to Ho Chi Minh City for…I don’t know what…some party.
Michael: You’re now in Taipei, right?
Yeah. I was supposed to jump back to Bangkok, but got lazy and decided to stay. I really really love this city, and I don’t ever want to leave when I come here.
What’s it like?
Incredibly beautiful. Tropical.
It’s the Fire Island of Asia, no?
(laughs) Thank god, no. I always say it’s like if China and Japan had a kid that was cooler than both of them. The architecture is incredible and the scene is very lit. Like, the BPM is really high. The energy is kind of desperate.
How so?
I don’t know…maybe the constant threat of being swallowed by China does something. There’s this, like, desperate energy for expression here.
You’re traveling nonstop, so that means you probably have the best handle on sex culture, too. It’s no “Fire Island”, but would you say Taiwan is the most openly gay country in Asia?
That’s connected more to the “We’re not the Mainland” thing. They legalized gay marriage just to have another reason for the international community to notice and protect the country.
How are you received there? I don’t imagine that there’s many Black Americans in Taipei.
I’m invisible in Asia, in general. Mainland China is crazy. They literally do not give a fuck about a foreigner, and definitely not a Black foreigner, and definitely not a hairy Black foreigner. They’re, like, ‘What? Ew? Why on earth did you message me?’
Like, do you mean that your hairiness is received poorly there?
Unless someone is a depraved pervert with a fetish for hairiness, it’s, like, nah, not cute.
Does this ruin your sex life in Taipei?
Well, I mainly have sex with people who pay me to have sex with them.
Oh. Really?
Yeah. As a working girl, Taipei is great because, despite it being the “Asian gay mecca”, there’s only, like, 15 hookers here. Word to the wise, if you’re looking for a way to turn a quick buck, Taipei might be the place to do it. (laughs)
Hot tip!
Usually, when it comes to sex, I’m REALLY picky. But this is not a place where I’m allowed to be picky. (both laugh) The first time I ever had sex for money was actually in Taipei. I got tricked into it. This was a long time ago. I was on Grindr and there was this Brazilian sex god messaging me and I ran to a taxi. When I got to his place he dropped that a guy was there and he wanted to watch, but he’d pay. So this voyeur John watches us. Some Swiss banker. He paid me an insane amount of money to have the most fun I could possibly have fucking this beautiful guy. That was my first time.
That sounds like a great entry point.
I got backdoored into it and then I started to think, maybe I can kill two birds with one stone. I mean, considering the amount of time I spend being a deplorable vagrant looking for random sex, why don’t I monetize this? (laughs) Sometimes I’d get to a place or a level where I was, like, damn, what the hell did I just do? At least now I get paid for that instead being sketchy for free.
So hustling is a way to take responsibility off your psyche?
(laughs) It’s also functional. I’m a deejay. If I’m not doing commercial stuff, which happens so seldom and randomly, extra money is extra money.

Do you just let it happen through Grindr, or you actually pursue it?
I’m a full-fledged working woman. I’ll take long periods off, like, I didn’t do it for a year and a half, and then in September, I started again. I mostly do massage, but then I’m such a whore and I can’t say no. (both laugh) I’m a people pleaser.
Give them what they want!
The customer comes first. I don’t want to leave anyone unhappy.
But that’s not really your deejay mode of operation.
That’s very very true.
It seems like you have a yin-and-yang practice. As a deejay, you’re a dom, and tend to satisfy your own standards first, and as a hustler — even as a top — you’re focused on satisfying your clients’ needs.
Sure. I just let people say whatever they want about my music, and mythologize me in whichever way they want to. It’s kind of funny. I’ve been a deejay for more than 20 years… Oh my god. 20 years! That’s horrifying.
You’ve changed your name a few times too. It was Total Freedom. Now it’s Bobby Beethoven. What was the other one in between?
Big Gay Idiot DJ. I was having a moment where I felt like deejaying had gotten this cultural caché that was looking so stupid and so embarrassing. I had spent a year making a fucking 3-second H&M commercial. And it made me so uncomfortable and I was, like, I can’t be calling myself Total Freedom anymore. It was too poetic and self-serious. Also, I was in the middle of a…bromance with a formerly straight guy. (laughs) He was actually still “straight” during this summer fling and then I found myself in Milan deejaying, and was, like, I’m such a big fucking gay fucking idiot. And then I thought, that should be my deejay name.
Why was this version of yourself so short lived?
I honestly couldn’t live up to the title. With a name like that I really should have become a circuit deejay. And, believe me, I tried! But all the circuit girls rejected me. (laughs) Okay, so I guess I’ll stick to being the loser, edgy, underground electronic music deejay named Bobby Beethoven.
But you did call yourself “Big Gay Idiot” for a year?
I used it for a while, and people were like, ‘You’re so annoying.’ And I was like, ‘Yes, I am. That’s the whole point.’
Okay, wow.
I should probably tell you why I’m in Asia.
For the tour, no?
And for Korakrit’s performance art festival, Ghost:2568, in Bangkok. You know him?
Yes, Korakrit Arunanondchai. I saw some of it on Insta.
So I did a performance that was a kind of ritualistic rite, like penance for trying to be a photographer.
But you are a photographer, right?
When I was a child, but then had a Covid-related midlife crisis and thought maybe I need a camera again. I hadn’t had that feeling for over 20 years. I’ve been taking photos ever since, but I don’t understand what photography is exactly. I feel like it’s cringe, even cringier than being a deejay.
Why?
My feeling with photography is that it’s like stealing something from the surface of other people’s existence. In Bangkok, I did this long piece where I had an endoscope camera up my ass, and then I swallowed a microphone. The camera was projecting on a screen, and I was reading this long unintelligible prayer.

Was it, like, a medical endoscope?
No, I got mine off eBay for, like, $20. It wasn’t completely clear to the audience that the image was the inside of my ass. The audience was just washed in this orangey pink glow. And I was walking around the room, the camera is moving, and the colors are constantly changing.
So the audience is bathed in the color of your ass?
Yes yes. The room was turned into this womb glow of my anus. The performance went really well and I felt this cathartic feeling that I had hoped to get from it, like a release of an imbalance, or guilt. It’s not exactly like I’m a photographer now. Maybe I need to wait a little longer.
Let it sink in, let it settle. How did the audience respond to being enveloped in your anus, unbeknownst to them?
I think everyone loved it. I made a soundtrack that was very warm and comfortable.
Was the exterior of your ass also exposed during the performance?
I wore these jeans with a zipper, and the camera was attached to a long tube.
I get a sense that you’re primarily a top.
Yeah.
So did this gesture of anal exhibitionism push against some personal taboo?
It’s penance. This is my punishment. I pay this price and then I’ll be allowed to be a photographer.
Did you grow up Catholic?
No, but I like this performative guilt shit.
(laughs) Wow.
Taxi driver: Bye bye.
Sorry, Michael. I just got to the airport.
Oh does that mean we can’t talk more?
I guess, maybe? I need to check-in and stuff. Let’s call when I get to Vietnam.
Okay, cool. Talk to you soon.
(a few days later)
How’s Vietnam?
It’s great. I love it here, but I don’t know it very well.
Did you work this weekend in either profession of yours?
I came to deejay a quaint night…a quaint nightmare. I’m not gonna get into it, it just wasn’t ideal, but I’m happy to be here.
Are you not enjoying it anymore?
You mean life? (both laugh)
Are you suicidal? No. I mean deejaying.
I’m balding. My hair is turning gray. Yeah, I’m loving life! As much as I have this constant mental critique, this cringe about deejaying, I still really enjoy club culture. But the people are just getting younger and younger and younger and I’ll just be the oldest person involved. Although, I’m so into being granny at the club.
I’m gonna ask a really basic question — how did you become a deejay?
I don’t know, that’s a boring question. I’ve just been doing it forever. I’m not a musician, for one, and I’m not, like, musically gifted. I think I’m just enamored. As a kid, I spent a lot of time listening to music, playing in bands.
What kind of bands?
Indie rock. I went to a special high school for tech stuff, including audio-visual and TV/radio production. I’d deejay at noise shows, in between bands. Until I moved to LA, I was still doing that. It wasn’t until I met Telfar in New York that I found out that deejays get paid. (both laugh)
I always thought you were from LA.
No, I moved there in 2005.
Where are you from?
I grew up in the woods outside New York, in Jersey. I would spend my summers in the city as a kid.
You’re a Jersey girl?
Yeah, 100 percent.
Okay. So by the time you left for LA, Telfar probably just started deejaying.
He had been doing it for two or three years. He was, like, ‘I have a club night at the Cock and they pay.’ It was called the 10-inch party, or something like that.

Wasn’t it called Slurp?
Maybe? The main point is I still love deejaying. I love touring in Asia, but it’s been two and a half months and I haven’t seen Lou. I’m getting a little homesick.
And that brings me to my next simple question — how did you meet your partner, Lou?
He was a fan, of course. (laughs) More than that, obviously. He makes music, and we connected over that first.
So he came to a gig and just said, ‘I like your music.’
He was chatting me up on SoundCloud, and I was, like, oh, this person has muscles…
It was a time when the art world wasn’t hitting the gym as hard as they do now.
That’s something I’d love to talk about.
Let’s talk about it.
I’m fucking sick of it. Every art fag is a circuit queen now. I was running away from you girls, and now you’re all every- where. I can’t be a circuit queen anymore. I really wanted to ask you about this.
You once told me you decided to make a clear divide between your sex life and the cultural spaces you operate in professionally. You figured it out. I always admired you for this.
It’s always so annoying dealing with art fags and fashion girls — not socially, but definitely sexually. Always some bullshit. Always mean girl. You’re just dealing with so much insane ego and social fucking gymnastics. Like, fuck that! If I’m trying to have fun, I’m going where it’s only completely insane meathead porn actor freaks who don’t give a shit about anything and listen to the worst music on Earth, and they have so much fucking fun, and fuck like crazy.
Wait wait wait. Can we back up to the first time you went to a circuit party?
So me and Lou were circuit queens for the last eight, nine years.
You deciding that you were a circuit queen back then was such a radical choice, among your creative peers.
I used to be, like, I’m going to the circuit party. And people were, like–
–you are disgusting!
Exactly. The first time I ever went to a circuit party was in LA, but I was just following some Grindr situation. It only really became a thing when me and Lou were living in Nolita. To find any ass on the apps, we’d always have to be up in Hell’s Kitchen. But then one day, 500 feet away, there were, like, a million torsos on the grid. I was getting messages, like, ‘There’s a circuit party at Santos Party House.’ And I turned to Lou and was, like, get up. We’re going right now. It cost $150 to get in. We went. It was dumb fun. The hottest guys ever. And there was no hierarchical bullshit about who’s cool enough. Just guys that want to fuck.
For sure.
The whole thing was just so novel. From that day, we never went to another normal Brooklyn party unless I was deejaying or a good friend was playing. Now, with circuit parties migrating to Brooklyn and G becoming mainstream in the underground scene, there’s this weird cross-pollination happening. And then OnlyFans started popping.
What do you mean by that?
The drugs are becoming the same, the parties are in the same area, and everyone’s a porn star now, or adjacent to a porn star, or half of their friends are doing porn for money. So basically everyone’s a circuit queen now. (laughs) Last summer, the art girls were telling me that they were going to circuit in Barcelona, I was, like, ‘Oop! You can’t do that.’
‘That’s my safe space.’
There are 10,000 people at each of those parties… I just don’t want to be traipsing around with a hard dick, and have to deal with gossipy weirdo “community members” or whatever. I only go to circuit parties in Brazil now anyways. So I don’t even know why I’m mad about it. But I am.
How do you deal with the music at circuit parties?
If I’m on drugs, I can get into almost anything. But at Pines Party last summer I was really, like, ‘This is unbearable.’ I would love if you could explain to me what circuit music is, and why it’s exclusively this boring monotonous thump?
The Pines Party is not circuit. A circuit party has to be “on the circuit”. They have an official calendar. And circuit music, more specifically, is tribal house.
Why does it have to be tribal house?
I don’t know. It’s important to remember that early circuit parties were fundraisers for AIDS in the 90s.
What a flawed concept — 10,000 high, horny, topless gay men in service of AIDS prevention.
Yeah. Maybe if we snort another line and turn the music up, it’ll go away? (laughs) These parties were extremely expensive, but they were a benefit for the community. Nowadays they’re generally run by insanely greedy shit heads who charge as much as possible. It’s still this aspirational thing, like, do you have your shit together enough to get the $200 VIP ticket and pay fucking $15 for a water bottle? The girls are, like, ‘We made it.’

There’s a sense of accomplishment in paying these high fees.
It’s really expensive in the States, but in London a circuit party is, like, £20. The music has been poopooed for forever, even in the 90s. But the original tribal house stuff is insane. It’s some of the best music. I have a theory that the way it went downhill and turned into satanically bad music was that being a deejay became a vehicle for porn stars–
–to have their second life?
No, to travel. I mean, I’m traveling to be a hooker, well, not entirely, but you get the point.
So you mean, promotion for their high-end hustling?
Yes. I swear to god. But all these porn actors don’t even know what music is. The original tribal house has all these interesting remixes and releases, but later it turned into genre production packs for circuit music, with standard loops of drums. It’s a formulaic way of making music. Nowadays, circuit music sounds so fucking crazy because it’s made by men who don’t care about music, who are completely tone deaf. They’ll take a pop vocal and smash it over something that doesn’t match, very clashing sounds, very grating.
And then that’s now become a genre.
Yes.
And we’re decades into this phenomenon, so “badness” has become an essential quality of the genre?
I’m on their team now, though, because circuit music — this is like getting so into the weeds — crossed back over into the mainstream and into the straight world via Mexico. I’m almost positive, because there was an underground type of music in the 2010s called “tribal”, like tree ball.
Oh, the Spanish pronunciation!
It’s also called tribal guarachero, but if you were googling “tribal”, tribal house would come up, and they have a similar drum pattern. I swear to god. Teenagers looking for “tree ball” in Mexico found tribal house music and made it into their own thing. But those kids in Latin America making that music were not gay. They were not anywhere near to being gay. (both laugh)
This is such a good history.
And now those straight tribal deejays will get booked at gay circuit parties, but it’s, like, you don’t get it. You cannot play a vocal that’s in the same key as the song! It just sounds too nice! Circuit music has to sound fucked up, clashing, sour notes everywhere. These new guys are playing the gentrified version.

Wow.
But REAL circuit music is actually the worst music ever, but it’s OUR music. It really fits the energy of the Tina thing, the G thing. The energy of being rabid and fucking. Very hungry. That’s the sound of circuit music to me.
Why do you only go to circuit parties in Brazil?
I’m always thinking about the whole experience in any club that I go to. And in New York, these bitches have no fucking fantasy anymore. The promoters are literally just evil, greedy men. You even have to pay a fee to go to the dark room.
I’ve never heard that.
Oh yeah. It’s every party. I actually just want to find the promotors and strangle them. Or I could just stop going to their parties. (laughs) Which I have. But in Brazil, a circuit party is the funnest thing ever. There’s always a room where they play funk and pop. It’s fab. They happen outside in a jungle, or there’s a pool, and it’s a million hours long. It costs $25 to get in, there’s food, there’s açaí, and everyone’s the hottest person you’ve ever seen, ever.
So tell me, what was the fun part that kept you coming back to New York circuit parties?
I’m very very into public sex. That’s more fun than anything. And the actual party is fun, just all of the mechanics and cost around it are so evil that I just stopped going. I think Lou went to one this year, but I haven’t.
Have you and Lou always had an open relationship?
Oh yeah. I think the first time we actually hooked up was in a threesome situation. It just made sense to both of us.
When you’re seeking someone else, do you try to find versions of Lou? Or do you want something totally different?
I don’t have a type at all, except for short kings. That’s my type. I’m obsessed.
That’s really wild because Lou…
I love Lou in spite of the fact that he is way too tall.
How long have you been together?
It’ll be 14 years this summer.
Congrats. I sometimes go to this sex party with Paul, my partner. We’ve been together for over 20 years, and have an open relationship as well. We always end up exchanging numbers with a few guys. It’s never a good idea — the whole point of being there is that it’s anonymous, and who has time for all that follow-up?
I literally stopped taking phone numbers at sex parties. The number of post-it notes I have in my drawer with, like, Steve, Derek, Kwan. What am I supposed to do with all these?
Do you use Sniffies?
I fucking hate Sniffies. The Sniffies app is like the police to me. It’s bad for us overall. Sex parties still feel edgy to me, because it is anonymous.
I think Sniffies has that capacity, but I have never used it that way…
I’m always on this, like, Luddite grandma thing — I hate all the fucking apps. If there’s no mountain to climb, and it’s just all beautiful views… I much prefer to walk through this dark-ass scary park at night, and maybe there’ll be the most beautiful bottom I’ve ever seen in my life who’s ready for whatever. I prefer that situation more than seeing who’s available right now, this very minute, in this exact area. The lack of friction in gay life, cruising, gay sex in general is not good. I like having sex in public. I like having sex outside. I’m into voyeurism and exhibitionism. But this movement of hyper-functionality and convenience and seamlessness, and also monetization — the OnlyFans of it all — has brought all of these other people into the market that aren’t naturally on the freak shit.

You’re right. Guys who attended these types of things pre-PrEP were the real outlaws. Their sexual energy was stronger than risk and shame. Now everything is accepted — “slut” has become an identity default.
Exactly.
At the beginning of Sniffies, Paul and I were chatting with this Latin twink fantasy. When we got to his apartment he was naked watching a basketball game, our loads were probably his ninth and tenth of the day. He handled the interaction with the energy of someone completing an administrative task. It was the most unconnected sex I’ve ever had. I remember being amazed that he’d managed to make a taboo act feel so boring.
I’ve backed out of more than one Sniffies load-taking extravaganza, because of that feeling. It’s not for me. This is way too easy and way too fucking weird. A dead person that’s just looking at their phone. ‘Okay, next one.’
(laughs) Okay, um, what else do I want to ask? What year did you start your second career?
My introduction to hustling was sometime around 2018.
So you’re fairly new to the game.
At the time, my friend Nacho was in the hospital. He had HIV, wasn’t taking his meds, got pneumonia, went into a coma and then died. All in a month. I was depressed and super dysfunctional. I was just playing video games and jerking off every day. I thought yo, I need a hard reset. Maybe having a real job for the first time in 20 years would be good. So I got my OSHA certification, thinking, like, I can be a garbage man. While I was doing that, I was in the mode of getting cheap and shady Chinatown massages on the regular. Then one time, while I was paying, I asked for a job. They said I could start that night.
Amazing.
The owner was this really funny gay guy from, I think, maybe, Shanghai. He wanted to fuck me. That’s why he said yes. And that’s how it started. I wasn’t doing RentMen yet.
Got it. Did you make a lot?
If the massage is $100, the masseur gets, like, 20, 15, 10 maybe. Everything else goes to the spa. It actually costs twice as much, because you should tip. Sometimes I’d give the most incredible massage to someone, fuck their brains out, make them cum all over the place, and they’d be, like, ‘Here’s $5.’ And I was shocked, like–
–I gave you everything.
I definitely changed your life and you just gave me $5? Another crazy story that was fun is, okay, in Milan, there’s this doctor that looks like a telenovela star — tall, dark and handsome, a complete fantasy. He has a private jet that he fills with leather gear and toys and slings, and hosts a sex party in the sky. Epstein has nothing on this guy.
Oh my god! This is the most headless person I’ve ever heard of.
He’s, like, honestly, the hottest guy ever. I’m so sad. I pushed it too hard. I tried to get close to him and that pissed him off. I’d be in Milan for a Fashion Week, and hit him up.
So you didn’t get invited to the airplane sex party?
I only got to the penthouse. I’m actually really sad about it.
You’d think there’s nowhere higher to go than the penthouse.
He literally would’ve taken me into the clouds. I fucked that one up. Ugh. I need get back in there.

Do it for me, Ashland, please. So to be clear, are you coming out in this interview as a hustler?
Sure. I mean, my profile is, like, very private on RentMen, but I have friends that are freaks who hire hookers all the time and they know that it’s me. Like, very obviously me — too much text, way too detailed.
Okay, have you ever had a friend try to hire you?
Absolutely.
By accident?
No, they fucking knew. I mean, I obviously didn’t do it. I’m, like, ‘Girl, what?’ But I guess if I get to name my price, the sky’s the limit. Anybody can hire me.
What are your hustler goals for 2026?
To get back into it. I wasn’t active for over a year because RentMen was blocked by Visa. Now you have to use Bitcoin. It took me all that time to figure out Bitcoin.
Are younger people hiring you?
I’ve literally only ever been hired by someone young twice. The second time was just a week ago here in Taipei. A rich guy in his twenties.
Oh really?
Young guys write all the time, but I usually ignore them, because they’re always, like, ‘I’m young and pretty. Don’t you want to fuck me for free?’ It’s, like, why are you even on this app?
You prefer something 100 percent transactional?
With clients I like how easy it is. They pay for what they want, and in the end, they get what they want.
Simplicity, I get it. Thank you for your honesty. It’s been fun and informative.
All right, I’m gonna take a shit. I’ll talk to you soon. Byeee!