Wank Bank

By
K8 Hardy

K8 Hardy

K8 Hardy makes an art form of lesbian swagger. Whether dressing up as different camp characters in her videos and performances or painting a massive Maxi pad, the ex-riot grrrl and downtown NYC dyke diva serves horny humor and chutzpah. And as a born-and-bred Texan, she takes her boots very seriously. Lovers, be prepared to do the same!

BIG, STRONG, GNARLY HANDS

With short, dirty fingernails that would give me a bacterial infection.

EURO TRASH DYKES

With a healthy fear of aggressively friendly US American queers.

FEMMES WITH SHAVED HEADS AND ANGER ISSUES

No sweetie pies.

RAT TAILS AND BOOTS

Cowboy boots, real cowboy shit. Not the Yankee version. And knowing how to wear your jeans with said boots, perhaps while drinking a coffee at the gay boot scoot.

HOT PHOTOGRAPHERS

Be obsessed with taking my photo and directing me from behind the camera.

ENJOYS BEING BULLIED

And knows it’s flirting.

STRIPTEASES

Very slow and to a song, but not the cheesy burlesque style. Needs to be rooted in reality, on a decently dirty, not-too-nice strip club stage.

PACKING

And you know I don’t mean a gun. It’s full of good intentions.

CHEST SILHOUETTES

Top surgery and the soft mass of bound breasts.

TAKES DIRECTION WELL

Be thirsty, but not too eager.

SWEATY STEMS

AKA stud-fems, who pay team sports games seriously. Bonus for wearing uniforms.

BIG NOSES

If you know, you know.

Published on 11 June 2024