Wank Bank
K8 Hardy
K8 Hardy makes an art form of lesbian swagger. Whether dressing up as different camp characters in her videos and performances or painting a massive Maxi pad, the ex-riot grrrl and downtown NYC dyke diva serves horny humor and chutzpah. And as a born-and-bred Texan, she takes her boots very seriously. Lovers, be prepared to do the same!
BIG, STRONG, GNARLY HANDS
With short, dirty fingernails that would give me a bacterial infection.
EURO TRASH DYKES
With a healthy fear of aggressively friendly US American queers.
FEMMES WITH SHAVED HEADS AND ANGER ISSUES
No sweetie pies.
RAT TAILS AND BOOTS
Cowboy boots, real cowboy shit. Not the Yankee version. And knowing how to wear your jeans with said boots, perhaps while drinking a coffee at the gay boot scoot.
HOT PHOTOGRAPHERS
Be obsessed with taking my photo and directing me from behind the camera.
ENJOYS BEING BULLIED
And knows it’s flirting.
STRIPTEASES
Very slow and to a song, but not the cheesy burlesque style. Needs to be rooted in reality, on a decently dirty, not-too-nice strip club stage.
PACKING
And you know I don’t mean a gun. It’s full of good intentions.
CHEST SILHOUETTES
Top surgery and the soft mass of bound breasts.
TAKES DIRECTION WELL
Be thirsty, but not too eager.
SWEATY STEMS
AKA stud-fems, who pay team sports games seriously. Bonus for wearing uniforms.
BIG NOSES
If you know, you know.