The Impenetrable Vaginal Davis

Michael: I’m so sorry I’m late. Trying to find you this morning was cinematic. My phone died as it started downpouring, and I had no idea how to get to your hotel.
Vaginal: Oh, you poor thing. I’m surprised there’s not a hurricane. The last time I was here, Superstorm Sandy came to town. That was in 2012 during my first purely visual solo art show at Participant Inc.
And now, 13 years later, you’re at PS1!
I was really terrified to come back, you know, with my diabetes and having to bring so much medicine with me and whatnot – they just find any excuse to put somebody in jail. I just was like, ‘Oh god, am I ready to go back to the US even if it’s for the opening of my exhibition?’
The exhibition really captures your personality, it maintains a fun, playful spirit while being aggressive politically and sexually. And it has great showmanship. It’s very entertaining.
Yeah, you get a good sense across the six installations. It’s really funny to me, because, you know, I don’t think I would’ve ever gotten a solo show in a museum if I hadn’t moved to Berlin. In the States I was thought of as this fringe, crazy, nutty thing that was indescribable.

How did you end up in Berlin?
I was living in LA and got kicked out of the best apartment I’ve ever lived in – a beautiful, gorgeous, gigantic apartment in Koreatown, three bedrooms, a soaking tub, view of the Hollywood sign from the balcony, a garage, and rent was only 500 bucks. I tried to find another apartment, but I couldn’t afford anything. So, my friends in Berlin, they said, ‘Why don’t you move here?’ And it’s not like I had a husband or a boyfriend or even a promise of ever getting a relationship. What was holding me to tired Los Angeles? So, I just said, ‘Fuck it, I’ll leave.’ I had nothing to lose. And I’ve been there ever since.
When was that?
Back in 2005.
I image you as being part of a golden underground period in LA, your circle of friends and collaborators is quite incredible, Kembra Pfahler, Ron Athey and Rick Owens.
All of us were born in 1961. I’ve known Ron since the fifth grade because we were in the MGM program together.
The film studio?
No, it stood for “Mentally Gifted Minors”. If it hadn’t been for that program, I would’ve wound up like so many other minority students, either in prison or dead. But I was singled out.
So you were never told you had to conform?
Well, I got the message. I just didn’t listen to it.
Was the LA punk scene fully gentrified by the time you left?
Mhm. You know how I found that my neighborhood was getting gentrified? One time I was walking on Beverly Boulevard and this gorgeous, tall surfer white boy started talking to me. And I was like, ‘Is he cruising me?’ And we were chit-chatting and I was like, ‘This is my lucky day.’ but I realized, ‘Oh, wait a second, he thinks I’m a drug dealer. That’s why he’s talking to me!’
(laughs)
People think LA is all la-di-da and wonderful, but it’s one of the most segregated places in the world.
True.
Once you get outside of the major cities it’s Hicksville. It’s Republican. It’s very conservative. It gave us Ronald Reagan. And, you know, he started off as a Democrat.
Whatever it takes to stay in power, sadly.
Mhm. But Republicans then were so different to what they’ve morphed into.
Yeah, it used to feel like social progress was a linear upward trajectory, but it seems to be much closer to a pendulum.
People thought that when Obama became president, that things were just gonna be so wonderful blah blah blah. He was a great symbol, but he was very conservative, he just preserved the status quo.
The status quo with a more compassionate and diverse packaging. (laughs)
I wish my mother had been alive just to see a Black president and the fact that he didn’t get assassinated was pretty miraculous. When he became president I said, ‘Oh, they’re gonna kill him for sure.’ Have you ever heard of this black porn star named, um…Betty Shabazz.
Do you mean Rhyheim Shabazz? I heard he’s one of the top earners on OnlyFans?
I’ve watched some of his movies. He’s fucking all these white guys and giving them so much pleasure. You can see it in their faces. They’ve left their bodies and they float in the air. He has this slinky, long, tight body, and even after he’s ejaculated inside them, he’s still rock hard and ready to go again.
(laughs)
I was like, ‘Is this AI, or is this a real person?’ Because, really, how can you be that sexual?
He found his calling, I guess.
Where did he come from? And why hasn’t he been killed yet for giving all these young white gays that much pleasure? He’s the epitome of Black power. And he’s not just having sex with white guys. He has sex with beautiful Asian men, little tiny Latinos and other Blacks who have equally large penises. And he gives as much as he takes.
Oh, I haven’t seen that.
Yes, he gets fucked. He enjoys it. And his nipples are rock hard. It looks like milk is gonna come squirting out, like he’s gonna lactate! (laughs) And he’s getting plowed jackhammer style by a guy with a huge penis, and he’s just enjoying it so much. And he’s not acting. He’s just calmy taking it.
That’s kind of groundbreaking, that used to be forbidden for a power top.
And the set looks like an R&B music video. Everything in the bedroom is white. I’m just like, oh god, what if someone has a mudslide, it’s gonna get all over the place.
(laughs)
You know, I’m more into the fantasy of someone desiring me than the actual penetration part. Like he needs me so badly that he would risk death just to reach me. My pussy is the gate to his happiness.

Well, I could see how real sexual acts could never live up to that fantasy.
Yeah. Because it involves a form of trauma.
Why trauma?
You’re being penetrated. Something’s entering you, and you’ve gotta calm yourself enough to take it – I’ve never been able to do that. There have been a few guys who attempted to, but I just couldn’t get comfortable enough. They used a lot of lube. And they ate me out, and tried to loosen me up, and they said, ‘Oh god, you’re so tight!’ But they just couldn’t get in there. So we did other things. I wish I could be the type that can just take it.
I’m sorry to hear that.
I’d love to just put my legs behind my ears and just wash away all my fear. But the reality is I just can’t get comfortable enough with someone. I don’t ultimately trust someone. I go to therapy, so I’ve been working on these issues for a long time.
Are you seeing any one right now?
No, I’ve never had a boyfriend.
So you have never experienced that level of trust with someone?
No, never. I’ve had little things here and there, but after a short time they lose interest. The most recent thing was during the pandemic. The guy was really into me and blah blah blah. He was really cute and he was so challenging too. Oh my god, this talented kid. And he was taller than me, which is hard to find. So I felt like he could be that fantasy come to life, the guy that throws me down and just makes me melt.
(laughs)
But no, that didn’t happen. So now I’m 64 and I’m like, do I really want to be naked in front of someone?
Even with fame, you must have groupies fighting over you?
Honey, when you get to be my age, you’re sexually invisible.
Really?
My pussy is as dry as a cactus. 

But throughout your career, you must have hooked up with fans?
Honey? When you’re as bizarre as I am… The only person who’s ever gotten me laid was Judy LaBruce – that’s my nickname for Bruce LaBruce – this one time when I was performing at Vaseline, the legendary Toronto club.
That’s a good friend
It’s only happened once. And he hooked me up with this beautiful go-go dancer. Stunning, taller than me. Oh my god. He had this dark, shiny black hair and this really pale skin and these pillow lips. Broad shoulders that came into a little tiny waist. And he had a Black boy’s bubble butt. And that’s hard to find on a white boy. So yes, I got laid by this juicy kid with a gigantic penis, who was a little on the skinny side for me.
(laughs) Oh?
I like thickies. You know, men who are thickly built. I love guys with meat on their bones. I don’t like little skinny minis, zero body fat. I like something you can hold onto, because I’m a big boned girl. Guys who are husky and chunky, for me, that’s better than being what people call “twinkies”.
Why do we call them twinks anyway?
That’s because they look like fuck chickens. Especially if they shave off all their pubic hair and whatnot. Thank goodness this dancer still had a bush. I usually like hairy guys. And he had a really giant penis to munch on and lick and suck and big heavy balls. He ejaculated all over my face and I rubbed it all in. And the next morning when he left…oh, my skin looked great!
An important beauty tip from Vaginal Davis!
It’s true. The best face mask that you can ever have is young male semen. (laughs) Helen Gurly Brown – the famous editor of ‘Cosmo’ – always said that you should let your man ejaculate on your face.
I’ve not heard that before.
Well, you learned it today.
(laughs)
It works wonders! Just don’t forget to wash it off… But, yeah, I’ve always had problems in terms of relationships. When you straddle the line of masculine and feminine – and more on the feminine side in my case – the gays don’t want you because they don’t want a woman. They want a man. And then you tend to meet more straight guys. But the straight guys, you make them feel too sexually ambiguous. Like they’re attracted to more femininity than they see in you. There’s always this moment where they get freaked out.
How so?
They always ask, ‘Are you functioning down there?’
Meaning?
Like, do you have a penis that works? Because these straight guys, you know, they wanna get fucked. They wanna girl who’s trans or a girl who’s non-binary or intersex to have a functioning penis.
Yeah.
And I’m not some top! (laughs) I can’t fuck anyone, you know? So it’s not gonna work. I don’t have the equipment to do that.

Thanks for beings so open about all this. I hope there’s a BUTT reader out there that reads this and realizes you’re the one they need.
Having a relationship can be overrated. I am glad to be unboyfriendable. You lose your individuality by making certain compromises to be partnered with someone.  I channeled my sexual frustration into art.
Glad to hear that, so, besides your show, what else have you been up to in New York?
Yesterday, I went to a gallery opening and there was this shirtless mega hunk in little booty shorts jogging down the road with his muscular titties just bouncing.
(laughs)
I haven’t been here in so long that I forgot all the most attractive people in the world wind up here. Just look at you, Michael, you’re so well-built and handsome. You must have many lovers. I bet you’re just like, ‘Who shall I make love to today?’ I’ve never known what it’s like to be desired in that way. What does that feel like?
You’re making me blush… I will say that after escaping the suburbs and a really boring gay college life in Providence, Rhode Island, when I first moved to New York City, the variety of possibilities did feel like a sexual utopia. Actually, Providence is where I first encountered you. When I was 18, this hairdresser who had a crush on me, insisted that ‘Hustler White’ was essential viewing for my gay education.
Oh, yeah, my boy drag. My drag king look. Not very convincing. My Buster Beauté character. You know, that whole gangbang scene was filmed in my big, beautiful LA apartment.
I’m so impressed. Your dialogue is iconic.
I got all mine lines from my friend, Hector. He’s a Mexican power top who was in the Marines – which, by the way, is homosexual central. So yeah, Bruce let me do my own dialogue and when I’m doing the fucking scene, I was just sprouting all these things that Hector told me the Black Marines would say about the white dudes they were doing shit with. Apparently, they called white boys “Keebler Elves” and would say things like, ‘His onion ass is so tight, it makes my eyes water.’
That scene triggered my sexual awakening. (laughs)
Yeah? I remember my landlady came by unannounced that day and walked in on someone in the production on his knees giving one of the hustlers with a really big cock a blow job.
Were you afraid of getting kicked out?
Not really. She asked what all these people were doing at the house and I told her we were filming a student film. She never mentioned the cock sucking. Maybe she was into it.