Quickie with the Fire Island Pizza Guy
Load-collecting Pizzaiolo
Over the last few summers, the hard-working “Fire Island Pizza Guy” has become a local celebrity on the ultra-gay enclave. He’s best known for his horny extracurricular activity of collecting loads. So much so, there’s even Twitter discourse devoted to his asshole. Between day shifts at a pizza joint and his cum-collecting time off, Island regular Michael Bullock was charmed by his smile and caught up for a quickie.
Michael: How did you discover Fire Island?
The Fire Island Pizza Guy: When I first moved to New York, my friend Julian was, like, ‘Okay, babe, I have a job for you.’ I needed a job, so I took it. I got here and thought: This is a little piece of heaven! But my first summer here, I didn’t fuck at all.
How come?
Coming from a conservative country like Colombia and seeing all this craziness and how the gays are here, I was kind of scared and shy. A little kiss here and there, but no sex.
So from that to this summer, what is your load count for 2026?
Are you serious? Oh my god. Body count or load count?
Both.
Let me do the math. I’d say body count is around 300 or 400.
That’s a good number. And loads?
Maybe half of that…getting a load from Friday to Sunday is very hard, you have to work for it.
It’s hard to get a load on Fire Island, because people are saving it. What do you love the most about collecting loads?
After a session of really hard sex, I like the smell of the person that you’ve just been with.
What kind of porn do you like to watch?
I obviously like bareback. But I don’t like to see loads in the mouth or on the face or on the chest or on the back… No, for me, it’s always inside.
As well as collecting loads, rumor has it you’re also an expert at DP.
Oh yes, I am. I have great control of the muscles in my butthole.
When you’re working at the pizza joint, are you able to use your job to pick up dates for later?
I’m also known for my hard work! When I’m working, I’m just working. I don’t pay attention to anybody.
What’s your favorite pizza slice?
“Grandma” — it has pesto, marinara sauce, parmesan cheese and mozzarella.
Do you prefer to take loads before or after your shift?
Both. If I’m not at work, I’m taking loads.