Piss Slave

With
Smokey
Text by
Danny Calvi

BUTT TUNES

May the leather gods smile down on Ben and Guy at Chapter Records in Melbourne, Australia for re-issuing a very trashy collection of BDSM rockers by Smokey. By the time they committed ‘Piss Slave’, the slap happy disco track about watersports, to tape, Smokey had already had it with being the most influential gay rockers you had never heard.

Singer John ‘Smokey’ Condon and producer EJ Emmons met in L.A., shared a bed and various recording studios over a period of eight years. Their unapologetically homosexualist jams — shamelessly camp and often hilarious — featured a who’s who of L.A. session musicians. After having their looks copped by Van Halen, and being told no one would put out their ‘fucking gay records’, John and EJ went on to self-release five 7″ singles, selling thousands out of the back of their car. Even Elton John had their 45s on his jukebox.

You will be happy to know that silver fox John and his Ford pickup are alive and well in Palm Springs, California, while EJ is sitting high and dry, not far from him in the San Bernardino Mountains.

Piss Slave

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

Sexy Sexy
Sexy Sexy
Sexy Sexy
Ooh…

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your toilet
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your toilet
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your toilet
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your toilet

Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy

Wrap your legs around me
C’mon c’mon and wrap those legs, wrap those legs around me

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your piss slave
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your piss slave
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your piss slave
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be your piss slave

Oh baby c’mon and give it to me
Oh baby c’mon and give me
I need to feel your piss running down my throat
Give it to me when I ask for more
(Yes sir, no sir)
Please give me some more more more more more…

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna drink your piss
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna drink your piss

Oh yeah, oh yeah…
Wrap your legs around me
Wrap your legs around me
Sexy…
You’re so sexy, baby
I can feel your piss running down my throat
I can feel your manhood down in my throat
I can feel I’m a toilet, baby I’m a toilet for your love
Baby I’m a piss slave for your love
C’mon and give it to me
Wrap your legs around me
C’mon and wrap your legs around me

Sexy sexy

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy
Sexy sexy

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh-ooh yeah

This time I think I’ve taken it a little too far
I said I really reached the limit tonight
I said I want more baby, but I know it’s not good for me
I said give me more baby, but I know it’s not good for me
I said I wanna be your toilet baby
Suck you dry all night
I said I wanna be your toilet baby
Suck you dry all night
Ooh tonight
Ooh baby

(Red laser love, red laser leather)
(Red laser love, red laser leather)

What’s that noise (Red laser love)
Don’t you feel it (Red laser leather)
I live on love (Red laser love)
Love in the city (Red laser leather)
I thrive on pain (Red laser love)
Pain in the city (Red laser leather)
Cool me down (Red laser love)
Show me your world (Red laser leather)
Feeling sexy (Red laser love)
Love in the city (Red laser leather)
Love in the city (Red laser love)
Love in the city (Red laser leather)

(Red laser love, Red laser leather)

Get ‘How Far Will You Go?’ from Chapter Music. Sixteen original recordings have been restored by EJ himself from the original master tapes, and mastered for vinyl with his own cutting lathe.

Published on 03 July 2015