Buttfeed

NEW YORK CITY, U.S.A. — In theory, the West Side Club in New York City is like any European gay sauna: dim lights, men in towels and an incredible maze of mirrored cabins and small corridors that are designed to provide you with the perfect trajectory to find your fuck for the night, or the half hour. However, in the US, going to a sauna has a stigma that is hard to explain: you’re too ugly, too desperate, too weird, or, god forbid, too old to get off anywhere else.

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM — The best sex session I had last month was with a bartender in Brussels. I rarely do the Brussels’s scene, since it’s mainly rather camp and snooty, but two friends and I were there for this mid-week Libertines concert, so we decided to make it an all-nighter all the same, never mind the bollocks, etc. The Libertines played a criminally short gig, and then we hit the town — more specifically the gay zone — only to find the very few places I did know over there to be either closed or semi-deserted.

NEW YORK CITY, U.S.A. – I was coming home from this awful club in New York City called Avalon, which used to be Limelight. I hailed a cab. When the Arab driver turned around and asked me where I wanted to go, he stared at me, even after I told him where I wanted to go. He wore a red wool knit lumberjack hat, and had a round face with a beard which was more like ten days not shaving than an actual Osama-style beard. He asked me where I had been, and when I told him he replied, ‘Isn’t tonight gay night?’ We then got into a very Kinsey-esque discussion of the different levels of being gay, and how I was 100% gay but some guys could fuck women and some could fuck men and not be considered totally gay.

ANTWERP, BELGIUM — This happened last weekend. I was in a bar and this guy stuck his hand in my jeans and he started snogging me. I had been hoping for this to happen but hadn’t seen it coming.