50 Euphemisms for Masturbation

adjust the antenna
badger the witness
bash the bishop
beat off
beat your meat
bop the baloney
bust a nut
burp the baby
butter the corn
change gears
charm the snake
chase the weasel
choke the chicken
cuddle the kielbasa
dance with the one-eyed sailor
dunk your dolphin
flog the log
get off
grease your pole
have a wank
hold the sausage hostage
jack off
jenny
jerk off
jerk the gherkin
love the Muppet
make the bald man puke
paint the ceiling
play chopsticks
paddle the pickle
peel the banana
polish the knob
pound your pud
pull off
punch the clown
rope the pony
rub one out
self-service
smack Johnny behind the ears
spank the monkey
stroke the salami
strum the banjo
take care of business
wack off
walk the dog
whip it
whittle the wood
whistle dixie
yank the chain
yank your doodle dandy